Keep the nightmares in the night, living nightmares are scary

Okay I am in a dilemma.I think I can't take the siding position, also cannot take the neutral.Because either side and the fence is equally uncomfortable. Sometimes I doubt, is it really friendship, or just pure sympathy?

I always thought that the most comfortable people are those people I have to face everyday with.Yea and I know that things do change.Now people who make me comfortable are those I see rarely.Gooddddd, why does this kind of thing happens when I am Sec 3? Okay maybe there isn't much difference in the past, just that I found secure friends outside of my 'world'.Lol what am I talking?It's such an irony.People around me are so distant, while people who I am really close to are so far awayyyyyy.Why can I be so close to someone so far away and so far with someone so near to me?It's like liking Sushi and hating Laksa but being forced to stay in Singapore.(I know you can choose to live in Japan, but that's not the point.)Maybe because those things far are harder to get,so we cherish it more?

(If we really cherish something more because it's harder to get, can I move to Japan instead? Maybe I can be a Sushi too[: )

Friends don't come and go; friends make friends come and go.If friends come to us, it is us who made them come; if they leave us, it is us who made them leave too.We leave them because they made us leave.

What makes a true friend?Why can people be a true friend to one and not a so-true friend to another?Maybe the first basic criteria for two people to become friends is the liking and acceptance of each other's characters.And maybe, I just can't be a true friend to people having those character I don't really like.

(I know I am cynical to an extend, but maybe cynicalness is a kind of defence......)

I am stucked in between and I don't think I can move :D Maybe my clique is just a "Don't-want-to-be-lonely group", where the lonely people come and be a company of another, without really being friends.

And then on the same note of the phone call, my decision changed yet again.I shall resume my old position(aahhhh that makes my whole post stupidddd.....)Sometimes a misunderstanding leads to the other.Complaining Confronting helps. Okay maybe sometimes I am too lazy to confront because I don't like the truth(they say the truth always hurts).And I am going to assume.The problem may be solved for her, and I gladly know that what kind of problem is going to arise for me.It's okay let solve her problem first.It's just some (bad) habits that can be changed(although sometimes I think it's called respect), I will help(before someone says "So?" LOL).

Haha So problem is gonna be solved right? Tomorrow will be better(: Because today is monday.And monday for me unfortunately are all blueeeee.